Cuttings

In his article for School Governor Update, a publication which supports the needs of School Governors and Headteachers, Bill Lucas outlines the theory behind the best selling book Help Your Child to Succeed, which he co-wrote with Alistair Smith.

School Governor Update , January 2004

All governors care about what parents think about their primary school and parents want to be more involved. In a recent survey by the Department for Education and Skills, 75% of parents said that they wanted more involvement in their child's school and 35% did not even recognise the term ñHome-School Agreementî.

Governors, many of whom are themselves parents, also know how parental involvement is critically important in helping to raise standards. Research by Professor Charles Desforges at Exeter University has shown that good parenting in the home can increase a child's education attainment by well over ten per cent. And, it is not just academic achievement that is affected. Parents are the most important influence on their child's overall development as a learner.

With all of this in mind, Alistair Smith and I published Help your Child to Succeed; the essential guide for parents twelve months ago. In just a year it has become a best-seller and, in response to demands from schools, we have just produced a Help your child Toolkit for use by schools wishing to engage their parents more.

The Toolkit contains various resources which have been designed to make it very easy for schools to run sessions for those parents who are the least likely to be involved with their child's school at the moment. A facilitator's guide, various card games, a large map, a copy of the book and a CD Rom with materials to print out come in a robust box called the Help your Child to Succeed Toolkit.

Here is a flavour of the kind of approach we have adopted. Some of the material has been written directly for parents, some for teachers planning sessions for parents.

Being a facilitator

Many teachers may not be confident about playing the role of facilitator rather than teacher when dealing with parents in a group. Here are some simple tips.

Ten facilitator dos and don'ts

1. Always use people's names

2. Remember we all learn in different ways

3. Encourage involvement by minimising the anxious moments

4. Make it safe to take part

5. Avoid too much facilitator talk

6. Be aware of the importance of open and supportive communication including your body language

7. Take care over the way you choose words

8. Avoid giving unhelpful labels or making premature assumptions

9. Be sensitive when you put people in groups

10. Be careful whenever you choose a case study or example; it may wrongly be assumed to be the best or only way.

Helping parents to find solutions

Often we rely on gently humorous ways of helping teachers to help parents to reflect on the complex job of being a parent. In one activity we use problem page letters as a stimulus for discussion. Here are three examples.

Dear Problem Page

My child insists on watching the programmes he wants on television. He is 8 and has to get his own way. If he doesn't he makes my life a misery. This would be ok but the programmes he insists on watching give him nightmares. The other night he had nightmares about mice in his pyjamas. This all came about because he stayed up with us to watch a programme about celebrities in the jungle having to do frightening things to earn points for their team. The next day at school he kept falling asleep because he had been up most of the night. What should I do to get him to watch the right sort of programmes and at the right sort of times?

Harassed from Hounslow

Bedtime Blues

Dear Problem Page

Bedtimes are a battleground. My child is really good at almost going to bed, but just when you think the lights are about to go out there's another visit to the toilet or a request for a biscuit or some urgent homework is remembered or the hamster needs feeding. We then get into an argument and disaster. As it gets near bedtime now I can feel myself starting to get stressed. I'm on my own. My child is lovely - except at bedtimes. What should I do?

Sleepy from Slough

Homework Horrors

Dear Problem Page

My child has got me in a spin over homework. There are several ploys. Every time I ask it's either been done at school or there isn't any. Then when I check and find there is I discover that it's got to be done for the next day or I need to find a book from the library or we need special paper. My child doesn't like finishing off classwork at home and there seems to be a lot of this. When we eventually settle down to do it we have tantrums and I seem to end up doing most of it. What should I do better?

Fed up from Frimley

The 3Ps

Of all the things parents can do, the most important are what we have called the 3Ps of parenting. These are being Positive, being Persistent and Problem-solving.

They also need to see the value of sticking at things. When faced with a difficulty many of us retreat into our comfort zone where we feel safe. But learning involves taking risks and pushing yourself. If a parent can help a child to have strategies for dealing with being stuck, then the child will become a more resilient learner. And problem-solving is an essential life skill. Being able to get the big picture, ask good questions and stay motivated is important.

Being Positive

1. Listen to what you say

Take time at the end of the day to reflect on how you have talked to your child. Positive messages and describing what you want ¿ rather than what you don't want -   are most likely to help you get what you want.

2. Catch your child being successful

When your child does something well, or improves on a previous effort, notice it and praise it. If it's something she can repeat ask her to show you again. Catch and celebrate all sorts of success.

Being persistent

1. Focus on what you want your child to achieve

For your child to succeed you have to have an end in mind. For example, knowing what a house might look like will help him to build one from plastic bricks. Or if he can imagine what a forward roll might feel like he is more likely to keep going until he has done one.

2. Practise practising

Practice involves checking, adjusting, experimenting and moving on. It is vital that your child experiences frustration and learns to work through it. You can practise this. Give her strategies to cope with it, like: talking herself through it, slowing down and trying it step by step, stopping and starting again, standing back and thinking of another way, going off to do something later and coming back later, asking for help from another family member, using the internet (if appropriate).

Solving problems

1. Tune to the curiosity channel

Children are naturally curious. Make the most of this by encouraging conversations that explore the world.

2. Think up good questions

Children need to learn how to ask good questions, ones that have several answers and invite them to carry on exploring. Children learn as much from thinking up good questions as from answering other peoples! Use these key words to help your child: How    Who    What    Where    Why    When

Using models

In the book and the Toolkit we cover many important but complex activities. Take the idea that, as a parent, you can act as a coach to your child. To render this accessible we offer simple (but not simplistic) models to help parents by having a framework to use.

So our coaching model uses the word RESPECT to remind parents of the key principles.

Reassuring: ñI know you thought this would be a good way of doing this andƒî

Enthusiastic: ñI really liked the way you ..î

Steady: ñThat's okay. I'll wait while you pick them all up again.î

Practical: ñLet's see what happens when we try this again. You stand over there andƒî

Engaging: ñI'll do it first and then you tryƒî

Clear: ñîWhen you move your hand more slowly, you will stop smudging your writing.î

Truthful: ñYou're not as good at kicking with your left foot as with your right, so we should practiseƒî

Staying real

The colour pictures and cartoons in the book and Toolkit make it clear that we are not imagining an ideal home! We deal with the tough issues around the use of TV, managing family meals, dealing with stress, dealing with failure, getting and keeping friends, making time for learning, planning homework, remembering things, overcoming barriers, understanding moods and preparing for the strange world of school.

Parents need to understand that what they say to their child has a huge impact and that many of their child's views will come from them! This is why we decided to start each chapter with a short quiz in which parents reflect on themselves as learners.

Here is a flavour:

How positive is your parenting?

Score + 2 if you would always do it

Score -1 if you would never do it

1. You're about to go out for the evening when your baby is sick over all your new clothes. You smile and say we'll laugh about this in years to come.

2. Your child has a favourite bedtime book. He asks you to read it again and again. You do so.

3. Your child doesn't believe your explanation of why birds don't fall off trees. You try a more creative approach!

4. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you slip on some lego bricks and crack your head on a dumper truck. Your first thought is how to improve the toy storage.

5. Your child joins a swimming club. You agree to take her there every weekday at ^am and to competitions all day Saturday.

6. Your child gets upset as he struggles with a jigsaw. You avoid interfering because you want him to do it for himself.

7. Your child comes last in a school sports race. You spend the evening persuading her that she is brilliant at football.

8. You want to go home to watch a major event on TV. Your child wants you to carry on pushing him on the swings in the park.

9. You're relaxing on a Sunday evening. Your son and his friends are enjoying a karaoke session, when the machine's batteries run out. You all pool your ideas as to which shops might still be openƒ

9-18                    You are a superstar ¿ positive, persistent and good at problem-                            solving!

0-9                      Some work needed! Read Help your child to succeed

Less than 0       Go and lie down in a darkened room!

Our approach is to take a broad view of learning and seek to help parents to support their children in becoming more effective. We do offer guidance on improving literacy and numeracy, but these are not our main concerns. Adopting the kind of strategies we suggest in the Toolkit will, however, undoubtedly help children to do better at tests.

But we see the main job of a parent as fostering a love of learning and helping their children to learn how to learn a little bit more effectively. Along the way we also hope that parents will have a lot of fun!

Dr Bill Lucas is an international expert on education and patron of the Campaign for Learning.

To find out more about Help Your Child to Succeed , click here

To find out more about Help Your Child to Succeed Toolkit , click here